If you happened to read the previous post, I just want to tell that I did go to Lombok and dive in The Gilis. I also visited Mount Merapi afterwards, although I'm too lazy to write the details. What confused me was that I didn't feel great at the end. I've done everything that I am excited about, yet I was restless to be back to Semarang.
Not that I was bored. I have my job and friends here, I am more than happy to be back. It was just because for almost a year in Semarang, I didn't really achieve or do anything meaningful. I was practically messing about. I was busy to make myself busy. The only occasion when I feel like doing or learning something useful was when I travel. It explains why my mind was always somewhere else.
I complained to friends over the internet that I couldn't have real conversations with my colleagues and friends. Most of them are busy, settled and responsible adults. Therefore we have almost no common interest. I was tired of listening about our mundane daily life (Was it because I always want to be entertained? Generation Y tendency?). I still hang out with them, of course, but I know I was missing something. And it wasn't a marriage, like is always suggested.
A conversation that I usually have over a cup of tea or a plateful of 'nasi goreng' is often about kids, husband/male species, colleagues, work or money. I also talk about similar topics, don't get me wrong, but once in while I want to talk about something else. Not necessarily important, but new (at least for me). Like, does Luke Skywalker really exist? or why Spongebob is yellow? why time flies and slips through our fingers? I want to talk about stuff that I am interested in. I also want to get a feedback, apart from a strange look. Only recently I've found a drain. It's called 'doing my job'.
I know I love teaching. I enjoy standing in front of people and explaining something that draws their attention. I always be the person who does the speech, since I was an elementary student (I was in tears at that time, though, because everybody else could do a peacock dance and I had to talk instead. Not happy tears). In the past I had talked in front of villagers, peers, teachers and children. Once I also tried to be an elementary English teacher. It was quite enjoyable for me, yet it didn't fully explore my passion to teach. People join an English course as a 'supplement' education, something they do in their spare time. Either their parents ask them to join or they volunteer in the class to have fun. That's why sometimes it's hard to keep their attention. It's pretty normal that some students did text messaging when I was teaching! Furthermore, it wasn't quite easy with English. My students demanded a conversation class, which means to teach off the book. Which means, I have to think of myself what to teach. If it's too easy or too difficult, the result will be same: I'm losing them. I have to find out which is the perfect level for these teenagers, who play nintendo wii on their holiday and can't live without Blackberry messenger.
Fortunately, it is different in the lecture theatre. These med students come to learn, or at least they have to, if they want to pass the exam and graduate. In general, they have more attention and obedience. They even listen to me sometimes!
Only recently I have my own class. I don't teach "Biomolecular markers of breast cancer" or anything remotely cool like that, but I found out that I can talk about 'interesting stuffs' to my students. In fact, I can talk about anything to them. The things that I contemplate. Medicine. Poems. Books. Scholarship application. Languages. Research. Travel. Experience. Friends. Different ways of living. Writing. Or simply about people and culture. Instead of looking nerd, I am usually considered as a responsible lecturer, who gives education (you bet). When we do something that we love doing and are passionate about, the atmosphere will follow. In short, I'm so happy to do my job.
The best part of this is that I need no excuse to do it!
