Minggu, 04 Juli 2010

A guy named "Liang"

I thought when I'm resting at home I will be absolutely free from cheap approaches, cheesy text messages, tacky flirts, silly questions as well as people trying to sell me second-class imported handbags, health insurances or credit cards. Little did I know!

One fine evening my Mom said that someone wanted to talk to me. I knew it must be quite important because she looked a bit hesitant. We have had a serious talk about matchmaking and we agree there will be no such a thing or my parents will have to pay for my round the world tickets =) So far, my parents were quite cool at turning down proposals for people asking their daughter's hand. I won't expect that this time will be different.

It was my Dad's business partner from Jakarta. His family visited my parents' house not long ago due to some business stuffs and my parents also visited them afterwards in order to sort these things out. Apparently there was also something else.

"I have a genteel nephew and it will be nice if you could meet him," he said casually. My Mom made a frantic gesture that it wasn't her idea at all. He sounded paternal and at the same time friendly so I wouldn't have any reason to pretend I suddenly had tummy ache or that I forgot to turn off an alarm. "I will held a wedding party for my daughter in September. Please come with your parents and I'll prepare a table for you,"

I really have no chance to say no. I completely understand that this man is an important person for my Dad's business and that he actually has a good intention, but I still think it's a bit unfair to match me with someone I have no idea whatsoever. I immediately missed door-to-door salesmen who sell fake perfumes, insurances or any cards (gym membership, DVD rental, greenpeace, bodyshop or perhaps Che Guevara fans club). They are surely easier to handle.

My Mom tried to calm me down by saying that this guy is a 187 cm hunky bloke named Liang. Despite having a name resembles a tea, he sounded very nice, polite, lovely and good-natured person; in my mother's opinion, in addition of being a hardworking young businessman and an owner of two storeys house. It was clear to me that he made a good impression on her (or perhaps he has handed her his CV?). She determined that it never crossed her mind to match me with anybody so RTW tickets is out of the question. I'm a bit dissapointed.
"So, do you know him?" I asked my Mom.
"He drove us around while we were visiting Jakarta. I've met his mother too. He talked a lot about his late father. He had to go back from US to take over his father's business,"
"I see," Yes. A very typical Chinese businessman.

I talked (read:complained) to my friend on dinner table about this since things turn out to be a bit too serious.
"I feel like I'm living in the19th century. I'm not in arranged marriage (yet), but I am pretty sure that marrying us is good for both parties in their business relationship. Otherwise, it's not. So, what's the difference?"
"You're over-reacted. Think of it as a blind date," she suggested, "Also, how if he turns out to be indeed good-looking? Your Mom's taste isn't so bad. Your Dad looked much better than any of your ex-boyfriends when he was young,"
"That's not helpful, thanks. Problem is, I don't know him at all. Moreover, he's Chinese. I'm not being racist but the Chinese are boring. They are stingy and only think about working, business, money and prosperity..."
My friend squinted at me, "But you ARE Chinese,"
"Yeah, but I'm a post-modern Chinese. Not pure-breed either. I don't think too much about money and I care about life quality," I defended, "By the way, you owe me for the last dinner so you'd better pay for this one. Don't forget to add 10% tax. I'll pay the parking ticket," I said generously.

A FedEx ad says, "There are thousands people named Chang in China, but we know exactly which one to deliver," or so.
I have never seen Liang. Neither has he seen me before. There must be a few Liangs at Jakarta. I hope I don't need FedEx to tell me which one is "the guy". Or I might be in trouble.

Kamis, 24 Juni 2010

My little accident

I complain a lot about why I never have a real holiday. Now I'm having one, thanks to a motorbike accident I got recently. Or should I call it "a bed rest"? =(

A few days ago I went dinner in a moped with a friend in a cafe with a big screen to watch Portugal and North Korea playing. I was very sad that the team I supported lose 7-0, but that's not the main story. The main story is, that the meal was ridiculously expensive that I would not go to that place again. Always watch football match at home for free and eat a cheap take-away instead! No, wait, I mean the accident. On the way home a motorbike overtook me from the right and then suddenly turned left which means, it blocked my way. I was in a normal speed, probably about 80 kmph but either I braked abruptly or tried to avoid hopelessly, the result is still the same.

This is the time when you see the flashback of your life like in a movie (perhaps "Tom and Jerry" or "Ghost" from the 90s but in black and white version). But since the accident happened quite fast, like in a few milliseconds, I didn't even get the title of the movie. In all of a sudden, I was lying on the street with sharp pain came from my right hand and knee. And a tooth on my mouth! (not to mention my immediately sexy swollen lips which had beaten those of Angelina Jolie).

Studying for a while of my wounds, I think we all should wear a proper motorbike clothing as above. I didn't hit the motorbike hard, yet I have scratches and bruises all over which get reddened and swollen. Day after day, they give me an annoying agony. This is the drawback of a motorcycle: you have no shield for your body. In other means of transport, you won't get bruises in a minor accident. Take an aeroplane for an instance.



My motorbike clothing was very much into Indonesian standard: a short T-shirt with a trouser similar to pyjamas and a pair of sandals. My helmet was not something even similar to those you see in MotoGP racing. It was actually a bonnet that looks a bit like helmet. You see, in the movie Pride and Prejudice, Keira Knightly is definitely kissable when wearing this kind of hat. This is the most possible explanation why I hit my lips first to the road when wearing this kind of helmet.


As usual when an accident happens, people will gather around to help or to watch. The same happened to me. At once, a few men helped me to stand up and everybody shouted, "Give her some tea!" Don't ask me why tea is extremely important to help a victim of motorbike accidents, but there must be an explanation. For example, because tea is a gesture of hospitality, because it has a relaxing effect, or because it's quite cheap and easier to get than mineral water or that they have no other ideas. I stood up and my friend started swearing in a language I could not understand (or did she pray?). She demanded the girl who had cut our way (she turned out to be okay) to bring us to hospital. My mouth was bleeding and although I hadn't felt the pain yet, I was startled to find out that two teeth were broken and my face was wounded.
"Do I look OK?" worried, I asked my friend.
She looked horrified for a minute, but after overcame herself and took a deep breath, she finally said,
"You're alright," suspiciously.
"What do you mean I'm alright? I asked you if my face IS okay,"
"You're fine. Your mum will still recognise you,"
I exhaled in relief.

It took a while for the girl to take us to hospital because she called her family first! I was feeling alright at that time (thanks to adrenalin and my friend's infallible confidence) so that I'd prefer to take myself to hospital with my own moped (it was okay too!) rather than to wait for any longer with my sweet ice tea. Fortunately, just before flies came over to feast on my open wounds, her family arrived. They took my moped back to my house and got us to dokter Kariadi hospital. Our colleagues at emergency room took care of us with a good laugh (OK, I did silly thing but it was still quite painful). After making sure there was no broken bones (no, broken teeth don't count. Don't ask me why), I was diagnosed with "minor injury, multiple VE" translated : "lots of iritating bruises but nothing serious to get you enough sympathy".

A friendly nurse cleaned my wounds and put some iodine. When she got to my face, I asked her,
"Can I still be a model?"
Bemused, she answered assuredly "No,"
I almost cried. "Is it that bad?"
"No, dear. You don't have the height of a model,"
Oh, thanks to remind me. I think I'll keep my job instead.

A few days later, my right hand got swollen. I couldn't hold stuffs perfectly and I suddenly became left-handed. Now I can type this whole blog entirely with my left hand. Perhaps that is something I learn from this accident!
PS. The photo was made in a laptop camera and it's a mirror image.

Sabtu, 12 Juni 2010

East Java, from my little eyes

A couple of weeks ago when a friend I met in London, Seb, told me that he was going to have a holiday in Indonesia, I was thrilled. I'm very passionate about traveling and I just couldn't wait for a chance to finally hit the road again. Problem is, there is no real holiday in Indonesian calendar. It simply doesn't exist. People have holiday usually only during Ied, Moslem's new year. It means just once a year for more or less a week, but it seems alright since most people are more interested in making money in order to meet their family needs than having a holiday (which also means spending money). In fact, to have a holiday itself is so much a privilege that you might feel embarrassed to admit, because people tend to think that you're either very rich, spoilt, or irresponsible. I would love to say that I'm somehow filthy rich but unfortunately that's not the case. I am just quite determined and I don't mind making efforts to travel once in a while.

There are some places that I'm pretty familiar with, like Jogjakarta or Limpung ^_^, or Dieng highland, or Borobudur temple (which looked exactly the same from my 9th to 10th visit). Yet I intend to make this journey as interesting for him as for myself. This is also my trip. I don't want to act as a chaperone. So I went to a place that I hardly ever visited before: East Java. Actually I wanted to go to East Java because I saw in National Geographic traveler that we can see turtles laying eggs in their natural habitat (although this is not a good tourist attraction because this could endanger the turtles. When they don't feel secure, they will go back to the sea without laying eggs. We have to watch them very discreetly from a safe distance). I wanted to see Alas Purwo National Park, to pick coffee beans from Kalisat-Jampit, and also to see cactus collections in Mexico Park, Malang, apart from the apple plantations. I always have thousand of ideas but not necessarily a good planning. Apparently a week is not enough to see the most of East Java alone. Well, it was actually only 5 days because the sixth day I booked tickets to Karimun Java. I would say that we definitely need more time if we want to enjoy staying in some nice places for a while. What we did is more like going to one place after another and making sure that we would be back in time. We took public transports and we were in quite a limited budget. In short; we have so much to do, so little money, so little time. Perfect. But I was in a very good spirit. The journey started off on Saturday evening. We would begin with the overnight train from Semarang to Jombang.

I was so excited that I heartily boarded to a wrong train going to Jakarta! I once got a wrong train in France but at that time I understood nothing in French. This time I had no excuse since the announcement is in Indonesian and Semarang only has 2 (two) main platforms. One is going east, another is west. How wrong you could be? Still, I think the announcer talks like someone stuffs his mouth with a large piece of durian (unpeeled). I was amazed at how silly I am when I realised this is why someone took our seats (because they have exactly the same number as our seats). Luckily, somehow our train was delayed for an astonishing 2 hours. We got off in a little train post a bit outside the city, where we were surrounded by a nice, calm, pleasant rice field and a tiny mosque. I like it there than in the main train station, where you always have to pay Rp. 1,000 for toilet and with the loud durian-stuffed sounds in the backgrounds. The most scary-but exciting-thing is when we had to jump from the train since there is no ladder. I threw my backpack to Seb and he encouraged me to just jump because I hesitated for a moment and the train was about to leave! (My feet are like those of jellyfish's)

On the train to Jombang we were supposed to sleep yet we didn't have enough of it. The train was so cold because of the air-con, also we arrived at Jombang very early in the morning. We soon boarded to a bus (this is the beginning of an endless bus journey!) to Malang via Batu. This route is actually a pretty nice one because the view around Batu is lovely: very green with hilly landscapes and lots of rivers and the pointy high trees. But I was still tired of the overnight journey. I had no idea where to get off since I'd never been to this place before so when the driver stopped us in a road to Panderman peak, the highest point in Batu where you can see the town of Malang from above, we just went there (instead of my idea to go to plantation or whatever national park in the original plan). We hiked a bit to the top but stopped not even halfway through for we had no plan to climb any mountains in Malang. The view was beautiful although too many mosquitos accompanying us there. We were glad to say that we 'climbed' Panderman peak even though all we did is actually sitting around, killing some mosquitoes and eating ice cream, on the route to Panderman peak. We continued to Malang by another bus. In this bus we met a bunch of real climbers who had spent the night at the peak. We were quite content just to hear the story. We made friends with them. They even helped us to find a place to stay that night. That day, Malang was hectic due to a festival. I found a lot of nice traditional food stalls in the festival but I was again too tired and weary (We hadn't found any place to stay. Hotels were fully booked). We finally found a place and we skipped our plan to visit the festival in the evening with those climbers since we were pretty knackered and decided to have an early night. Yet mosquitoes and the distant sound of wayang performance late that night and a hard bed woke me up. I noticed that I don't really like spending the night in a town. My mood is always bad when I stay in the city, but I feel good when I wake up in the mountains.

We went to Probolinggo to hit Bromo the next day. By this point Seb had already asked me to phone ahead, in case we found another difficulty to get a hotel. The receptionist said, "Just walk in. We have enough beds for a whole village," This sounded more like Indonesia to me. The bus from Malang to Probolinggo was as slow as a slug with a deformed knee (I know, slug has no knee. Its feet are always deformed anyway). When we get there, it was a bit late to get a normal price to Cemoro Lawang village. We had to pay the minibus a la carte (which means a rip off). Fortunately, there were 2 couples also wanted to go up so we could share the price. Strangely enough they didn't talk to each other before we arrived despite the very same problem we had. Nevertheless, soon after the ice broke, we became a good team. We rent a jeep together, went up to the peak, did a lot of chatting in between and kept in touch afterwards.

Journey to Ijen plateau was more challenging. Since there is no public transport to Ijen, we were offered a tour. But we are confident backpackers and an expensive tour sounds very lame to us. We were surprised when we knew that from Bondowoso, the town closest to Ijen plateau, to get to Ijen is as expensive as the tour offered from Bromo. On facing this problem, me and Seb started to think differently, so different as west and east could be. Seb wanted to phone the hotel back in Bromo, in case we can get a lift if they have spare seats. It turned up that the phone number I got was not our hotel at all (believe me, this is quite normal in Indonesia. You called a hotel and ended up in another). Seb asked me to get this hotel's phone number from my friend who got internet. For me, all his plans don't make sense. When I have this situation I will think to just go with the cheapest price possible, even when it's expensive, because we are there anyway. Or ask a friend if they know anybody who can help us. This is Indonesian way, I guess. I don't think my idea is better either, but to do Seb's way in Indonesia is just so unnatural that I don't feel comfortable at all. In Indonesia, I can just go without knowing how to come back, because when I get there, I will ask around and see what turns up. Yet for Seb, he always has a plan (and a few spare plans) about how, when and where to go back. I think we got back in time partly because he has this attitude although it stressed me out to hear his plans and questions all the time (he didn't get stressed out of planning, by the way, which is a bit unfair). When I had my German friend as my travel buddy, he let me handle all and at the end of the day he missed his flight to London. He only had to reschedule it but I realised that I'm definitely not a good travel agent.

Ijen's view, however, deserves all the efforts. The turquois volcanic lake was so peaceful and tranquil that I could hear the echoes of the stones bounced from the lake's walls. On the way down we luckily met three belgian volcanologists and they even took us to a hotel in Kalisat coffee plantation! This evening was the nicest of all because I really enjoyed talking to these amusing people while we were having satay dinner in the foot of Ijen (like I said, my mood is good in the mountain!). One of them, a girl called Julie, explained to me about the colourful stones Seb named 'psychedelic rocks'. The red one contents iron which gets oxidated and the colours range from red to yellow (rust). The white one is rock that is destroyed by sulphur oxide. She told me more about silica and other compounds but I guess I didn't really understand but since I'm Indonesian I would always nod and smile as if I have got all knowledge in my little head.

After Ijen was the painstaking return journey. Thanks to my ignorance to train timetable and all, we ended up taking buses practically from Kalisat until Semarang! I don't remember when is the last time I sat for that long in an uncomfortable overnight bus, but three days afterwards, the pain in my arse was still palpable.

No more than 5 hours after that endless buses trip, we again were on the road to Jepara in order to take a 6 hours ferry to Karimun Java. I guess I was using my reserve energy because that morning I wouldn't even think to ever get up again. All I want was sleeping soundly in my bed for unlimited amount of time (until a frog prince comes to wake me up). Surprisingly, I enjoyed singing along with Seb's playing guitar on the ferry deck under a blistering heat (that made me brown. This is so unwanted for Indonesians!). I don't think the trip to Karimun Java was so bad either, although when I was busy snorkeling, my mind had already yearned for a good quality sleep.

I was upset when I came back instead of having my room and bed all for myself, I had my brother and Seb staying for the night. I guess exhaustion (and illness? and perhaps of the thought that I had to go to work the next day) had made my mood deteriorate badly. It was actually good that my brother accompanied me and Seb that night and the day afterwards. I went to my office in the morning and dealt with my professor for I didn't tell him in advance that I left work for a week. Seb kindly went to my workplace with me. It turned up that I was OK with my job and stuffs, yet my strength had not yet fully recovered. When Seb and my brother were off to my hometown, I instantly went dormant.

It was strange to go back to routine again. Since my trip was not actually a holiday (it doesn't exist, remember?), I had a bit of anxiety if I missed anything important. Suddenly I was nervous for my French exam. Really, traveling is so uncommon in my Indonesian life that I felt a bit guilty but at the same time a gust of thrilling sensation. When I close my eyes; I can see the volcanoes, the green hills, the trees, the yellow spider, the flowers, the mist, the sea. I wonder if I can ever quit traveling. Perhaps not in the near future.

On a different subject I regret a bit that I didn't bring a camera. I wrote about this trip in my Indonesian blog and some friends asked for pictures. I said I saved them in my subconscious mind. My friend insisted that she could not see my subconscious (neither do I. But at least I was there). By not taking any pictures, I won't be able to share with them what I saw. I must admit there is a reason why Indonesians think that pictures and souvenirs are important. It's because to travel for some people is just an impossibility. They are quite happy just to see my pictures and get my souvenirs while I think I would love to share stories so people might have chance to see it for themselves. It's too much a privilege. Unfortunately.

Minggu, 16 Mei 2010

Flirting in Disguise

I really detest people who pretend to be a friend in order to have a romantic relationship.

It destroys the meaning of friendship. It betrays the good intention of being a good companion. It makes simple things get complicated. It makes the right things go wrong. I just want to treat people like I want to be treated. That's why, in general, I am warm and affectionate to all my friends. I will do my best not to make them feel bad, rejected, annoyed or offended. But how if someone abuses my friendly gestures in order to get what they want? I feel deceived. "Flirting in disguise" is a cheap, pathetic, cowardly way to get a date.


If I am attracted to someone (and I can't be just a friend anymore), I'll say it. If he says no, it'll be fine for me, because I have the right to offer, he has the right to accept or refuse. It is fair. Yet in reality, some people like to make approaches to a girl (in the name of friendship), say nothing about their feelings but slowly push the boundaries so that he could get what he wants! What makes me upset is not the fact that they like someone, but the approaches. They are not honest. Their friendship is not sincere. This is selfish. They play safe: even though the girl isn't attracted to them, at least they can still be around. Moreover, they believe (I don't know where this idea comes from) that if they keep trying, eventually the girl will fall to their arms. This is such a non sense. The more they force their will, the worse their relationship will be. Really, before starting any relationship, at least we ought to respect other people's choices.

I don't tolerate people who have hidden agenda while I am trying to treat them well as friends. When I was very young I enjoyed people's attention and approaches. I felt like a pop star when my male friends flirted with me in disguise of being friendly. I didn't hang up the phone although someone I didn't fancy at all making some useless conversations for hours. I didn't leave when someone I wasn't in love with kept visiting me every weekend. I just felt good that I was attractive. But now I have better things to do. I know what I want and I don't need help to decide whether I am attracted or not. I have a strange feeling that people tend to think that a girl on her own is a target to catch. Like chicken or rabbit. Is it hard to think that this girl has the right on her own, has life, has choices, has brain? That she is not merely an object of interest?

People always say that I am arrogant when I complain about this subject. They said that I should feel lucky instead of angry. Lucky? I'm losing friends because they turn out to be fake. I can't be very outgoing and affable because I am worried that someone might misunderstand me. In one occasion someone told his girlfriend that he thinks I have a crush on him. When I heard this rumour, my first reaction was laughing. He must be joking, we only met once! But then I got upset because this rumour made the situation awkward although I didn't even know him at all. In another occasion someone kept asking me to go out only because I hang out with him (and another friend) once! Or kept texting/phoning me just because I had made a conversation. Do you still count this lucky? Worse off, when I start saying no, people will consider me a proud or vain person. This is because some people are not honest. They want something else but conceal it in a friendly way. They demand special treatment and confuse it between being nice or flirtatious. Sometimes, we are not sure whether this person is being a mere lovely friend or trying his luck. But I'd say: better safe than sorry.

If a friendship develops into something more, that's a different story. Sadly, more often than not, there is a false intention from the beginning: flirting in disguise. I will say that this kind of guy has so little confidence in him. This kind of guy deserves nothing but pity.

Sabtu, 01 Mei 2010

Only Indonesians care about how other Indonesians speak English

Telling people how to say something in English is a no-no unless they ask you to do so. (Or you have nothing else to do apart from picking your nose with chopsticks)

It's true. It's greatly annoying to be corrected all the time. We, of course, want to always deliver flawless English with sophisticated grammar and pronunciation, an Obama kind of speech. But let's face it: bad grammar sometimes happens to good people. I mean, even the queen of England makes mistake (well, I'm pretty sure about this). Again, the most important part is the message, right? When two people or more understand each other when speaking a language (or sort of a language), then what's the problem?

So, should we let people saying, "Thanks you very much" or "I can to swim" as long as we understand what they actually mean? I'd say, yes. Unless we are in the classroom and they pay you to teach them English.

I don't mind being corrected. I just point out that it's irritating to edit my sentence when I'm trying to put my idea across or to pour out my feelings. Imagine a situation like this:
Me : "I really like you. I think I love to you,"
Mr. Editor: "No, that's not how you should say it. It's 'I love you' without to"
Me : "Oh. You also too? You love to me too?"
Mr. Editor: "No, I don't mean like that. I mean you should say I love you, not I love to you. And 'also too' is not correct either. If you say also you don't need to say too,"
Me : *confused*"So do you do love me too also? Me love you too"
I bear in mind that in this case, he did nothing wrong, because he's Mr. Editor. He's just doing his job ^_^

In Indonesia, I guess people are very self-aware while speaking other languages. In my opinion this is quite normal since we always treat foreign languages like Math or Physics, with their rules and regulations. Thus, it's important to encourage people to speak or write in order to get them over their inhibition. Yet in reality some people tend to do the opposite. By criticising and pointing out mistakes, some people feel they know better and so that they are cleverer or more sophisticated. I assume that these people haven't learnt a lot therefore need acknowledgment from others. It's selfish because ones want to gain respect by making other people look inferior. If someone want to correct others, better do it in a classroom, where everybody is learning.

English is not for showing off. It's just a lingua franca, to bridge people from different native languages. I write in English because I want to speak to wider audience. To say a joke that perhaps can not be expressed in my mother tongue. On the other hand, to asses other people language ability when it's not an examination is rather impolite. Unless you have nothing else to do but to teach your parrot to sing Auld Lang Syne.

PS. I know I also too made mistakes in this writing. Please please please don't tell my editor or my English teacher. I haven't beaten him in scrabble games yet. Yet! =)

PSS. This post is also too (^_^) inspired by Vicky Laurentina.

Jumat, 23 April 2010

Here and There

People amazingly have complete different reactions/opinions toward a same single situation/thing.

Here, the southern hemisphere particularly in a little place I call my hometown, is where I was born, I grew up and live at the moment. There, is another hemisphere. A place that I once lived and still have its influence in my life. Especially for the fact that I am in touch with some friends. So, this is how it goes, from my friends here and my friends there. Spot the difference.
  • Situation (S) : I phonecall my friend, "I am drunk,"
My friend here (H) : "Oh my God. You little alcoholic snot! Repent. Don't let anybody rape you!"
My friend there (T) : "Ha-ha. Have fun! Cool party huh? Have a great time! Enjoy!"
  • S : I wrote an email saying that I'm having a holiday in Spain.
H : "You're so lucky. Traveling all the time huh? No wonder you're still single. Don't you think about savings for your future? Or you have a super rich Dad? Well, just take care of yourself. Don't forget to bring souvenirs,"
T : "Oh good. Have you tried paella? Don't try gazpacho. It's just a cold tomato soup with a Spanish name. Do you plan to visit Alhambra? Send me postcards from there!"
  • S : My ex boyfriend visits me after we split up. We intend to go to a certain place in order to sort out our past and be good friends. Knowing this, my Dad asks my brother to accompany me. I agree but later on send my brother back home because I want to talk with my ex in private. My Dad gets very upset upon this and asks me to go home immediately.
H : "Your Dad only wants to take care of you. He wants to protect you, it's his responsibility. He loves you. Don't just see from your point of view. Think what he feels if something happens to you,"
T : "Gosh. That's insane. You're 28! Tell him you have a right to decide for yourself,"
  • S : A friend arranged a date for me with someone she knew. He turned out to be completely boring and unattractive. I flied from the place at once, saying that I have an urgent 'woman issue'.
H : "(angrily) If you don't want to be his date, at least be a good host. Give him clear signal that you're not interested, he will understand. But accompany him until you finish eating. It's impolite to suddenly left him.You're arrogant. He doesn't ask you to marry yet, does he? You're not a hundred percent sure that he's also attracted to you, are you? Why don't you just hang on for a while and look civilised?"
T : "That's my girl. Don't let him think he'll get a good night kiss or even a chance to drive you home. Get a taxi to a local bar and hang out with cool dudes only,"
  • S : A friend of mine got pregnant with her ex boyfriend, who is with another girl now.
H : "Oh No. Tell him he has to marry her. He has to take his responsibility and leave his girlfriend now,"
T : "Don't tell him anything. She doesn't want him to get his custody, does she?"
  • I complained that my Dad doesn't support me to travel.
H : " You're ungrateful. You're lucky enough that he let you travel once. I think now it's time for you to think about your future: climb on your career ladder, have a settled life, have a good job and take care of your family rather than just thinking about your own needs all the time,"
T : "Well, if you know what you want, go get it. With or without support. Your Dad will understand eventually,"
  • About being a friend
H : "Why don't you reply messages? Why don't you tell your friend you're here? Why you don't come to visit sometimes?"
T : "It's good to have friends but you need a space for yourself,"
  • I'll add this list when I remember more. As a note, I don't go for either opinions. But as someone who stay in between and try to respect everyone, sometimes, this can be quite tricky. In the end I have to pick a side. Most of the time, I go to the third choice : never ask opinion. I can be a good friend without telling them my problems.

Minggu, 11 April 2010

another missing note

This is one mising note from my journey to Japan.

It was a damp winter evening in Hakata when I staggered along the alleys of the suburbs. My shoes were muggy, my hair was scruffy and I had three big rucksacks hanging on my body like apes in Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary. It is Indonesian culture to bring people souvenirs from travel, to indicate that we keep them in mind.  “People” basically mean everybody who knows me. I held my crumpled map tight under drizzly rain, desperately navigated myself amid the Fukuoka prefecture’s winding narrow roads.

“Kanzakimachi wa doko ni arimasuka?”

I thought I spoke the language but strangely nobody understood me. They attempted to help but unfortunately I even went further to the dense part of the town. The air was as humid as after monsoonal rain in rice fields and I was starving like beggar.

When I saw a small, bright, dry and pleasant-looking restaurant loaded with people chattering in one corner of the street, I felt seeing a light at the end of a tunnel. Driven by the aroma, I stepped in. No single foreigner. I didn’t look like one either, until I opened my mouth.

“I want to eat,”

All of a sudden, everybody stopped talking. Men behind the counter stared at me, then to everybody else as if seeking for explanation. I anxiously glanced the whole room. There were long tables arranged in rows, few people busy preparing food, three notice boards in Japanese character displaying menu (I guessed) and a bunch of guests observing me back.

“That one, inside the…pan,” I gesticulated.

The pan was actually identical to a cauldron; it was big, stocked with yellowish liquid, boiling and sizzling. A chef kept putting more ingredients in. If it was part of wizardry, I wouldn’t be very surprised. I noticed most of the guests were men, wearing dull-coloured shirts and towels tied on their heads. One gave me his bowl, saying something unintelligible but I comprehended that he wanted me to taste his because the soup was spicy hot (signalled by pushing his tongue like panting hound and waving his hand frantically in front of his mouth).  I hesitated. Never in my life had I eaten from a stranger’s bowl. What about hepatitis? Yet almost every heads in the house nodded in agreement. I didn’t want to let them down.

Everyone was watching when I pushed a spoonful of the fluid into my mouth. It was incredibly tasty: a thick savoury warm soup with meet broth, combined by fragrance of boiled vegetables, herbs like parsley and lemongrass, a hint of ginger, pepper, chilli and other flavour that I would never recognise.

“It is good,”

I did not exaggerate at all. Everyone was laughing and even clapping, as if it was an entertaining performance. I caught a glimpse of price on the boards, relieved by the amount of zero. I didn’t understand their number. I shouldn’t have been worried. Dinner that night was on them. I should just have known the name of the dish.